Diplomatic English and Flowers.

Arrangement by me. If you would like to learn how to make it, you will find a tutorial at the end of the essay. 

By R.M. Hamilton

I’m a professional florist and I also have a background in teaching English as a Second Language.

I found myself in a bit of a pickle this week. I had made two promises. I had promised one friend I would put up some flower arranging lessons, and I had promised another friend I would put up a video on Diplomatic English.

At the start of this week, I realized I couldn’t do both. Then it struck me, there was only ever one subject.

Whether it was expressed in flowers or expressed in the English language, the subject of diplomacy remains the same.

We use English to say things. We use flowers to say things too. In fact, in English we have a saying, “say it with flowers.”

Flowers are a language. I’m not talking about the codified language of the Victorians, known as floriography.

I’m talking about the way humans have reacted to flowers for thousands of years. Humans like flowers. They’re attracted to flowers. Humans will investigate flowers, because flowers are appealing.

Flowers make us feel things. And because they make us feel things, we can use flowers in moments where words seem clunky and unhelpful. In those moments, flowers become words.

Diplomatic English is about using our words in a sensitive and delicate manner. In Diplomatic English, we become less direct. We imply things and place ideas in front of people, but we don’t push people around.

In Diplomatic English, we use our words like flowers.

There is no record in history of a flower telling a person what to do.

No flower ever bellowed, “COME HERE NOW!”

No flower ever ordered a person to change direction.

Flowers don’t scream in the forest, “stupid idiot! You’re going the wrong way!”

But many, many people do change direction because of flowers.

Many people do stop what they’re doing, even if just for a moment, to gaze a magnolia tree in full bloom.

And who wouldn’t choose the only path lined with blue bells in a forest?

This is what Diplomatic English is all about.

We use a lot of sentence openers like “is it possible….” “have you considered….” “could I possibly have?”

Many years ago, I worked as a delivery girl for a florist. It was my job to walk the local deliveries around the town.

 I’ve worked for a few florists over the years, and most of them were lovely, but this one stood out for all the wrong reasons.

I delivered flowers for them for months. Then one day, the owner handed me a bouquet and said, “now Ruth, when you deliver this bouquet, be sure to do it respectfully. This customer is an important person.”

I smiled, nodded and left. But on the inside, I was disgusted.

This customer was important? Be respectful to this person?  

So all the other customers and recipients of flowers weren’t important?

And just how did they think I’d delivered all the other bouquets up to this point?

Did they think I had been flinging bouquets about the town yelling, “delivery for an unimportant person?”

Obviously, it wouldn’t worry them if I had. It took them months and months to get a customer they deemed worthy of respect.

The floristry is no longer in business.

I wonder why?

Diplomatic English and Floristry have the same foundation. They are branches on the same tree.

When we give flowers and when we use Diplomatic English, we do it for the same reason.

We do it because people are important.

They are all important.

Some people are annoying.

Some people are jerks.

Some people are even wicked and evil.

But for as long as you live, no matter where you go, you will never, ever, meet an unimportant person.

This is the foundation of Diplomatic English. It is less about language and more about attitude.

When we plant the right attitude in our hearts, then the fruit of Diplomatic English will be easier to grow.

When we value people, our flowers will reflect that awareness and make us better florists.

In my coming blog posts and videos, I will reveal practical tips to incorporate this level of respect into your flowers and your English.

Until next time, to my English students I say, “be bold and courageous in your studies!” and to my floristry buddies I say, “stay creative!”

Much love, Ruthie

The writing and photos belong to R.M. Hamilton. All rights reserved.